Sex - a taboo!

Why sex is a taboo? As a visually challenged couple, we have gone through this, a lot. Many times, walking with my wife on the streets, holding hands, has not been appreciated by the passer-byes or the people on the street. They look at us strangely, pass some mindless dirty remarks, as though we have committed some heinous crime, by holding hands and they are there for the society, appointed by the society, for moral policing. But, their supervisory ideas turn into sympathy, not even empathy, only when they realize that we are visually challenged. It happens only with some, there are many who still have a comment or two to pass, or, they keep staring at us, till we have gone far away, as though we are animals from the zoo.

To deal with this problem, my wife has found a noble idea of carrying her folding white cane in her hand, in such a way that people notice it and realize that she is blind and I am helping her while walking.

I feel, sex a taboo, has always been a problem world over. What differs is the way the societies look at it.

This reminds me of a couple of incidences which happened with me in the past. In the first case, I was with a group of American friends, who had come to India, to take part in the Himalayan run. While in Delhi, site seeing, I happen to escort a blind colleague of mine to see the Kutub Minar. As I took my blind colleague around, I realized that one of my American friend looked strangely at me and kept distance from me. It was only when we returned to our bus that we had hired for site seeing, he spoke to me and said “People in India are very liberal” ! I could not understand as to what he was trying to say. So, I asked him what exactly he meant by his statement. And there came the explanation - “In US, guys do not hold hands and walk. Homosexuality is looked down upon and it is not freely accepted. People are free to have their own sexual preferences, but I always try to stay away from a few gay people, whom I know, back in the US. Hearing this, I was stunned. I could not believe that he was thinking on those lines. I tried to explain to him that in India, people do not care or even think about it. Though it is prevalent in the society, people just prefer to hide it. But now the trend is changing slowly and surely. Now people might think the way my American friend was thinking.

In the second case, I came across an Australian blind person, who had come to India to play cricket for the blind. While chatting with me in the bus he told me that he always makes sure to keep his folding white cane open, when he is being escorted by a male person and does not bother to do so, when he is with a female.

I understand that homosexuality is not freely accepted in developed countries, as sex in any form in India. Now, since the Indian government has legalized homosexuality, one needs to see what the religious sects have to say about it. I am sure the religious groups will not have anything pleasant to say about this decision by the government.

Personally, I am very happy for the homosexual community, as they have been fighting for there rights for so long.

When we have respect for our own sexuality, why can’t we respect other people’s sexualities? And why sex has to be a taboo, in any form?

…Shivanand

Picture courtesy –

http://www.thirdeyehealth.com/images/taboo-2.jpg

T20 champions knocked off

It was the final nail in the coffin for the Indian team on Tuesday, when they lost to South Africa by 12 runs in the T20 world Cricket Championship 2009. Having lost to England earlier, they were virtually out of the tournament, but they had a chance to salvage some pride, by winning their last super-eight league match, which they could have won, as they had to chase only 131 for victory. It was a shameful performance by the former champions, to lose all their three back to back matches of super-eight league, to be knocked off. It was very easy for them, until they qualified for super- eight, beating the minnows, as they were in the easiest group with Bangladesh and Ireland.

If, as the skipper says, many of the players were not fit (Sehwag, Raina, Yuvraj, Zeheer and there might be a few more) or as their coach says, they could not perform due to fatigue and tiredness, they should have taken a break, like Tendulkar and the skipper himself who has done it in the past. Why are they blowing off the money of BCCI / Indian public? I want to ask these players,

“How much money is enough for them? Isn’t India’s winning important?”

The players hold on to their place, at times, hiding their injuries and not allowing a new comer to make his mark at the international level. They just want to sit on their past laurels and continue to stay in the team.

India started this T20 World Cup on a wrong-foot, as the issue of injury to Sehwag was blown out of proportion by the media and a rift between Sehwag and Dhoni was also talked about. Who knows, if there is a rift between them or not, but, one thing is sure that something in the team has been cooking up, which is not good for the morale of the team.

I feel Dhoni, who is a straight forward person, while handling Sehwag's issue with the media could have been a little tactful.

Indian media, if decides to chase someone and tarnish the image of that person can really create a mess and make that persons life miserable. It has happened in the past with many celebrities and if Dhoni's down fall in his carrier starts, they may not spare him.

To add insult to injury, as I write this post, now there is news that the manager of the Indian Cricket Team has been charged with asking sexual favors from the Indian women players and also it is found that he is involved in a scam of The Andhra Cricket Association. It seems BCCI is more involved in controversies than in producing / promoting good cricketers. When you have politics and power and not the genuine people who are interested in the betterment of the game, such things are bound to happen. BCCI is governed by such sitting ducks, that take policy decisions for the organization, but who do not understand much about cricket and might not have ever held a bat in their hands, in their lifetime.

These are difficult times for the Indian Cricket, and I hope Dhoni and his men will survive this phase.

Good luck India for the West Indies tour!

…Shivanand

Picture courtesy -

http://blogs.reuters.com/india/files/2008/11/dhoni.jpg